Well here it is, 2015 and I am still morbidly obese. There are so many things my weight is preventing me from doing. The biggest thing, however, deals with my namesake. Too Big For my Breeches evolved from my love of being an equestrian. I used to ride and took lessons 1-2 times per week for several years back in my early 20’s. I had to stop for financial reasons and in the time I was off I gained almost 100 pounds.
I had already been chubby when I was taking lessons before, but I was still able to physically do a lot at the weight I was, which is to say about 165 pounds. Not skinny for my height by any stretch of the imagination, but I could still squeeze into a pair of riding breeches that were the appropriate riding apparel for the style of riding I did.
So, for english riding you are expected to wear something similar to the above pic. These thin, skin tight pants that show every single flaw your lower body might possess.
Ha Ha Ha…
Nevermind the fact that finding breeches to fit me when I was 165 was a pretty tough task, finding some to fit me now seems nigh insurmountable. I don’t even think they MAKE breeches for my current size.
Equestrianism is definitely a sport for the thin and beautiful. There are even classes at horse shows that judge you as much for you and your horses appearance, as for your performance. It’s elitist, and snobby. The morbidly obese just don’t fit in.
I’m not saying I agree with that elitist mentality, but I can’t pretend that it doesn’t exist. Disregarding the fact that I can’t fit into the proper riding clothes, even the act of climbing up onto a horse would be impossible for me at this weight. Let alone actually riding the poor horsebeast.
I didn’t realize just how much I missed horses until I had the opportunity to be around them again. This past year I started learning Healing Touch for Animals. Part of the three day course is the large animal day when we practice our techniques on horses. Oh! I was in heaven! Although my weight made me extremely uncomfortable the entire weekend, seeing horses again made my heart soar, and ache at the same time.
After working with an awesome horse named Mosey, it hit home to me that I HAD to lose weight so that I could start riding again.
That is the big motivation for me, but it’s not the only one. In the past when I have tried to lose weight it was for looks first and foremost, with the benefit of being healthier as a bonus. Health is definitely at the forefront to me after the past few months I have had.
I have discovered that there is some sort of systemic inflammation affecting my body. This inflammation can erupt in different places and usually attacks my back, leaving me with severe pain in my lower back. I always attributed it to my weight, and years of wrestling dogs as a vet tech.
Until the inflammation attacked my eye.
I noticed my eye was sore one day at work, and when I looked in the mirror, it was definitely pinker than my other eye. My first thought was pink eye, so I went to the doctor a few days later when it hadn’t improved. My doctor agreed with me that it looked like pink eye and sent me home with some drops.
The beginning, when I thought this was pink eye.
After another week the pain in my eye was getting intense, the drops weren’t making it any better and it was becoming clear that this wasn’t pink eye. After an entire day of crying under a blanket because the light was SO painful to my eye, I decided to go to the emergency room. The ER doctor thought we were dealing with a condition called iritis, and referred me to an ophthalmologist the very next day.
One day before I went to the ER.
The ophthalmologist confirmed the iritis diagnosis, and told me that due to the high level of inflammation in my eye the edges of my cornea had been glued down to the inside structures of my eye, hence the severe light sensitivity. He put me on Pred drops, and another drop that kept my pupil dilated at all times to try and break my cornea off of the places it had adhered to.
The pain relief was nearly immediate. I was still super sensitive to light, but that went away after another week or two. After a couple of rechecks with my eye doctor, I am still healing – but I have to stay on the Pred Acetate drops for 3 more months!
So apparently, you don’t just get iritis for no reason. It is usually secondary to an underlying autoimmune disease or some other sort of systemic inflammation.
I know a lot of the issues I am having with inflammation are due to the lifestyle I live. I eat high fat, high carb foods, and a ton of sugar which can make inflammation skyrocket.
So the other big part of my decision was my health. I know by lowering the amount of crappy foods and processed junk in my diet I can help my inflammation issue from the inside out. I don’t want to be forced to live on pharmaceuticals to keep inflammation in check in my body. Big time Oral NSAIDS, along with steroid drops in my eye everyday are not a way of life. Not for me anyway!
So this is my fresh start, new blog, new name, new goals, new motivations. I will be integrating videos with the blog here from time to time as well. I know there are other people out there like me, who love horses but are too fat to ride. Hopefully this blog and my youtube channel can be a bastion for like-minded people.
I am hoping to have a Week One Vlog up by next weekend to talk about my first week back. I have an awesome Quinoa Salad recipe to share and so much more. I can’t wait to get started! Let’s do this!